third blog post

2nd of June, 2026

But we keep on trucking. Making art hasn't really been on the front of my mind much AND YET it didn't stop being made. It's probably now, when I'm trying to understand what the hell is going on and how I feel, that expression seems to come out in the process wether I try or not. Maybe that's why art is often made in grief or suffering, complicated emotions we need some way to process.

That being said, I've been doing a lot of just observing. Witnessing and experiencing. Been watching lots of videos, a few movies and shows, a couple games I've had downloaded who knows how long, shit I've even been reading again. Got myself a Kobo and just a whole lotta pirated ebooks.

Just been doing my best to figure out what feels good, what I actually enjoy doing even when it benefits no other person. I don't think I have the words for the full philosophical shift I've been trying to undertake but I'm learning how to experience sensation (without piles of dissociation) and actually notice/acknowledge how I feel about the things I experience.

Sometimes you just learn that the people who effected your development the most are deeply imperfect human beings. That EVEN MORE of your foundations are needing to be dug up and repaved. My beautiful brain and body did a whole lot in order to survive and was encouraged for other's comfortable benefits. Now I want to do jack shit! Or I really wanna do a whole lot but at an accessible pace that feels right.

I'm sure I'll upload a bunch of Zines soon. It's easier to explain complex experiences with the simple, multimedia format. I also wanna make some shrines, I NEED to express my adoration for some of the stuff I like!!